Slice of Life? 3
by angel0wonder
Summary: In which Mugi is a pimping-terminator-stripper.


A/N: I started writing this story having several ideas in mind. Eventually I just said "Ah, screw it. Just do all of the ideas!" And well, you'll see how that ended up in a minute.

Disclaimer: I don't own _K-On!, Godzilla, Terminator, _or_ Star Wars_. (Bet ya'll are really confused by this disclaimer.)

* * *

"Tea is served!" Mugi said cheerily as she served up the last of her goods to her band mates. The peculiar sound of rattling glass was gradually filling up the room.

"T-Thanks… Mugi-sempai." Azusa mumbled, trying for a smile but ending up with a terrified grimace in its place.

"It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real…" The bassist chanted quietly to herself. Mio's face was white as a sheet and currently displaying a dead-eyed gaze as a defense mechanism against whatever it was she was scared of at the moment.

The sound of rattling glass was coming from Ritsu's furiously trembling hands trying to hold up a tea cup. "D-D-Di-D- Delicious!" Ritsu stuttered uncontrollably. She flinched when Mugi's gaze landed on her. "TSUMUGI-SAMA!" The drummer got down on her knees and bowed as low as possible to the ojou, forehead pressing against the floor.

"Why, thank you Ricchan!" Mugi smiled down at her fellow classmate. "But please don't spill my tea."

"I'm sorry!" Tears spilled out of Ritsu's eyes as she scrambled to clean up the few drops of liquid she managed to spill while her hands had been trembling violently.

"Yui-chan," Mugi addressed the unusually quiet guitarist. The brown-haired girl jumped slightly in surprise. "Would you like some cake with your tea?" Mugi offered. The others in the group looked at their cake-less plates in desolation.

"Um, no thanks Mugi-chan." Yui miraculously responded negatively! Instead of happily accepting the offer like she usually would, she looked at the blonde suspiciously as if searching for ulterior motives.

"That's a shame." Mugi sighed, putting the cake away and not offering it to anyone else. "That was the last treat I was going to offer you today." Yui visibly flushed from the keyboardist's words.

"Well," Mugi put her hands together happily. "I'm sorry that I'll have to leave you all early today, but I have a… matter to attend to." she said cryptically as she gathered her stuff to leave. "Enjoy your tea!" she waved merrily at them before leaving the room.

"_While you're able_…" the echo of her words may or may not have actually been said, but each HTT member shuddered for one reason or another when the door closed behind the daughter of a wealthy family.

The club members breathed a collective sigh of relief once the sounds of her footsteps were out of earshot. It was now silent, with the exception of Mio's continued mutterings of "It wasn't real, it wasn't real…"

Azusa cleared her throat first. "Uh… I don't know about the rest of you, but has anyone else seen Mugi do something… _crazy_?" Azusa asked hesitantly. Ritsu slammed her palms against the table.

"Oh my God, yes! Mio and I saw her do something NUTS the other day!" Ritsu exclaimed breathlessly, eyes shifting to the door periodically as if the Mugi would pop back in any second.

Azusa sighed in relief. "You too? Thank God, I thought I was hallucinating last week when I saw..." Azusa trailed off in silent horror.

Mio suddenly started laughing brokenly, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. "_You're_ hallucinating? Stop kidding," Mio spoke low and detached from her surroundings. "I'M the one hallucinating. Because it just wasn't real!" Mio buried her face in her knees and started rocking back and forth, continuing her previous chanting.

Ritsu shook her head. "Poor thing hasn't been the same since that incident."

"And why haven't we talked about this before?" Azusa asked, since the clubroom atmosphere had been tense for about a week or so, and the entire time Mio's been acting as if her entire personality had been chased out of her body by something terrifying.

"Because," Ritsu responded, picking up her chair and moving to put it against the door handle to prevent Mugi from entering again. "Mugi has never left our sides until now!" They all shuddered simultaneously again.

"Um," Yui spoke up, startling Ritsu and Azusa slightly since she had been so quiet before. "Something… interesting happened with Mugi at her new job yesterday." Yui murmured, looking down at her tea in contemplation. This was strange in itself because Yui _never_ looked contemplative!

"Yui-sempai, you look kind of different today." Azusa couldn't put her finger on it. All day it has stricken Azusa that something had changed about Yui overnight. The way she held herself, her more mature aura, her thoughtful sentences and expressions…

"So, what did you see, Azusa?" Ritsu asked anxiously. Azusa pulled her gaze away from Yui and with a chill started recounting the events that had transpired the other day.

"A few days ago I was on my way to the convenience store when Mugi pulled up in a huge ridiculous SUV…"

~**Azusa's Flashback**~

The young guitarist could not walk on the sidewalk in peace. She walked quickly and kept glancing behind her at a massive black Escalade that had been slowly following her since she had left her house. Frankly speaking, it was freaking Azusa out.

'_Is it a kidnapper? Or maybe a weirdo_?' the twin-tailed girl thought anxiously, a drop of sweat rolling down her back as she quickened her pace. She seriously doubted a suspicious person would drive around in one of the most inconvenient cars in Japan, but its presence made her nervous nonetheless. After a few more seconds of power-walking, Azusa slowly glanced behind her again. But the SUV was no longer there. The dark haired girl let out a breath she had been holding and slowed down her pace.

"Hello there, Azusa-chan!" a voiced called out to her suddenly, making her jump and shriek like a startled cat.

Tsumugi giggled as she leaned out from the driver's seat window of her monstrous Escalade.

"Mugi-sempai? Don't scare me like that!" Azusa admonished as she quickly composed herself in the presence of her senior.

"Where are you headed? I could give you a ride." Mugi suggested in a friendly manner.

"I was going to the convenience store to get some ingredients." Azusa was finally getting a good look at the scene. Tsumugi was driving a shiny massive black vehicle that was twice Azusa's size.

Truthfully, Azusa was having trouble trying to accept the fact that someone like Mugi owned something like this. She had always seemed the type to be riding at the back of a horse-drawn carriage waving at legions of adorers throwing flowers in the street.

"W-Why are you wearing those clothes?" Azusa finally gathered the courage to ask. Because Kotobuki Tsumugi was currently wearing shutter shaded sunglasses, and massive amounts of what could only be described as 'bling' around her neck and wrists. A leopard patterned fur bucket hat sat atop her head snugly. That was all little Azusa could discern from the sidewalk.

"Oh, this? My weekend wear, of course!" Mugi answered as if it was obvious. "Are you getting in or not?"

'_Should I get in a car with a driver wearing shudder shades sunglasses?_' Azusa sighed before nodding her head in acceptance of the ride offer. She carefully maneuvered around the car behemoth to the passenger side. To get in the car she had to drag herself into the seat since it was way too high for her. After much grunting and struggling, Azusa finally managed to get in the seat.

"Oh dear God," Azusa groaned to herself when she saw the rest of Mugi's appearance. The older girl looked like she walked straight out Stereotype Wonderland with a proud accomplished smile on her face. A glimmering gold satin jacket had been thrown over a black sweetheart tank top, with a heavy-looking and studded money sign hanging in front of her chest. A shimmering leopard print mini-skirt barely covered her legs and was accompanied by gleaming gold garters and platform shoes.

"Weekend wear, huh?" Azusa repeated, sweat-dropping. She sighed in vexation.

Aware of Mugi's curious type of personality, Azusa figured the ojou was probably convinced to buy something ridiculous and made to think of it as normal. Azusa found that personality aspect of Mugi's kind of endearing, actually. But it was clear that someone could easily take advantage of her ignorance!

So deep within her own thoughts was Azusa that she had failed to realize that Mugi had driven past the convenience store and into the more mistrustful part of town.

"Mugi-sempai," Azusa was about to go into 'lecture mode'. "You shouldn't be tricked into wearing those kinds of clothes-"

"Hold that thought, Azusa-chan." Mugi interrupted politely while she pulled over at an alley. "I think I see one of my hoes sitting on the curb." she observed casually.

"… Your what now?" Azusa was convinced she had heard wrong. But Mugi was already out of the car and walking towards a scantily-clad woman on the street. "And where the heck did that cane come from?" the bewildered kouhai questioned incredulously. Without a doubt, Mugi was strutting her stuff while waving a diamond-topped cane around in her hand.

"Wait, Mugi-sempai!" Azusa scrambled out of the car to go after her senior. She recognized that this wasn't a safe neighborhood, especially not for someone as rich and gentle as Kotobuki Tsumugi!

"Bitch, why you sitting down on the job?" Mugi tapped the woman on the head with her cane not to gently.

"EHHHHH?" Azusa tripped on her own feet behind Mugi and fell on her face at those words.

"Kotobuki-sama!" the woman yelped in fear before jumping up and attempting to run away. Mugi was quick to grab her arm and pull her back, all with a cordial smile on her face.

"Now, now, Cruz-san," Tsumugi spoke in a tone that was gently mocking. "All you have to do is fork it over and nothing goes wrong with your father's business." The attractive woman squirmed in Mugi's grip but she nodded in cooperation.

"Now," Mugi drew closer to the other woman with all the eagerness of a snake wrapping itself around it's prey. "As you now know, I've arranged for the Prime Minister to pay you visit yesterday. I trust all went well?"

Azusa groaned on the street."God, I knew I shouldn't have eaten that can of cat food before I went to bed, 'cause this is one messed up dream." Azusa complained to herself. She gingerly rubbed the bump on her forehead from the face-to-pavement moment she had before. That certainly felt real enough.

The woman held captive in Mugi's grip and gaze struggled vainly before she whimpered in fear. "I-I'm very sorry, Kotobuki-sama! I only have fifty dollars on me right now!"

"Oh my~." Mugi put her hand to her cheek in the sweet gesture Azusa had seen her do so many times before. Except this time she had a cane in her hand. "Is Mugi gonna have to slap a bitch?"

"Stop it, Mugi-sempai!" Azusa tried to reason with the blonde. "This is against the-" she was cut off suddenly by the tip of a cane pushed against her lips.

"Do you mind, Azusa-chan? Your sempai is conducting business." the wealthy girl asked graciously. But there was something in her pitch that sent chills of alarm down Azusa's spine and she bit her tongue automatically.

"Now where was I?" Mugi asked no one in particular. "Oh yeah!" she raised a hand in preparation for some bitch-slapping.

"Wait!" the woman shrieked, cowering. "It was Freaky Steve! He stole your money!" she exclaimed. She yelped when Mugi let go of her wrist and she stumbled before quickly running away and disappearing down an alley. Azusa had a gut feeling that she should have done the same thing.

The dark-haired student heard the flashily dressed Mugi sigh in reluctance. "I hate to do this more than several times a week, but some people just leave me no choice." she said this sentence like she was talking about the downside of a certain brand of tea compared to another.

"Good thing I always carry a gag ball and extra 'tools' in my purse, because I'm gonna have to rape this Freaky Steve's ass!" Mugi fist pumped the air as if excited for their band's next live.

Azusa double-checked if her jaw wasn't scraping the pavement right now. If it wasn't for the laws of physics it totally would have by now.

"So, let's go Azusa-chan. To rape ass!" The girl in gold and leopard print exclaimed as she walked down a different disgusting looking alley. The younger girl's feet were stuck to the street for a moment or two longer. But there was nothing she could other than follow the elder band member with an 'I'm really going to regret this later' look on her face.

~**End of Azusa's flashback**~

"And then we went to some gang's 'lair' and I watched her.. watched her…" Azusa couldn't say further lest she recalled those very disturbing memories back to her awareness."

"Holy freaking crap," Ritsu whistled low. "You telling me our little Mugi ojou-sama is a _PIMP_?"

"What's a pimp?" Yui asked in confusion.

"A unicorn dealer, Yui." Ritsu responded with an overly-innocent smile.

Yui glared at her. "I'm not a child, I won't fall for those jokes anymore." the brown-haired girl grumbled in annoyance.

"Since when?" Ritsu genuinely wanted to know.

"Heh heh," Mio was still rocking herself for comfort. "I _wish_ I saw Mugi pimping. That's nothing compared to… to…" At this point Mio decided to retreat to her 'safety' corner and crouched there with her hands over her ears.

"She's right, if you think that's unbelievable, wait till you hear what happened to me and Mio!" Ritsu exclaimed urgently, desperate to get this story off her chest.

"During the weekend, me and Mio were eating out. Not like _eating out_ or going out or anything like that, mind you! Get your heads out of the gutter! Gosh!" Ritsu was stumbling over her words, suddenly flustered and giddy.

"Get on with the story!" Azusa yelled at her impatiently.

"Right," Ritsu cleared her throat. "So, we were eating at this new family restaurant in town getting some lunch when all of a sudden there was this huge explosion!"

~**Ritsu's Flashback**~

The inside of the restaurant was in chaos as smoke and debris spilled in from the blown-in windows.

"W-What was that?" Mio asked in unease, clutching Ritsu's shirt as they huddled together under one of the tables.

"It looked like a car exploded in the parking lot or something!" Ritsu had her arms around the raven-haired girl, watching the many pairs of feet make haste past their table towards the exit. The sounds of people shouting, the crackling of a massive fire and several car alarms were filling up the air with fear and panic. "We should get out of here." Ritsu gently guided the two of them out from under the table and onto their feet when the place emptied out.

Mio's dark blue eyes gazed out the broken floor-length windows that now lay scattered across the floor in shards, threatening anyone with ill-protected feet. She stared at an utterly destroyed car that was currently throwing up tall pillars of flames into the air in the parking lot. "Ritsu," Mio said in a hushed whisper. "Something is moving inside that car."

"It won't be stopped for long." an unexpected voice said from behind them. The pair jumped and whirled around to find Mugi behind them.

"Mugi! Did you see what happened?" Ritsu immediately asked, approaching her friend.

"Not only did I see it, I did it." Mugi replied to Ritsu's question in a deadpan voice.

"Huh?" Ritsu balked at the response. She waved her words away with a hesitant laugh. "You can't be serious!"

Mio was looking at Mugi warily, standing slightly behind Ritsu in unease.

"There is no time, the explosion will only deter it for approximately ninety seconds before it reboots." Tsumugi was reciting expressionlessly.

"What are you talking about? Deter what?" Ritsu asked in confusion.

"A cybernetic organism covered with living tissue from the future. I am also from the future and I've been assigned to protect you."

"Hey! I've seen that movie once!" the short-haired girl grinned rapidly in remembrance. "It was the one with that one guy with the ridiculous name…"

"Ritsu," Mio's strained voice made the shorter girl turn her head quickly. "There is something _moving_ in the fire." Mio repeated, with more urgency amplifying the trembling tenor in her voice this time. Ritsu turned to stare harder into the flames of the destroyed vehicle. Moving metal flashed from within in a menacing manner.

"I will take care of this." Mugi's emotionless voice intoned, bending down to pick up a particularly large shard of glass from the floor.

"Hey, what are you- OH MY GOD!" Ritsu yelled when Mugi unexpectedly stabbed her thigh with the piece of glass. Mio's hands flew to her mouth and she screamed into them. Mugi started ruthlessly carving a line along the length of the skin of her thigh deep enough to hit bone without so match as a blink. When she was done she started pulling the skin apart despite the blood pouring out of the self-inflicted wound.

Mio fainted into Ritsu's arms by this time. Bright silver metal gleamed under the blood and the dangling skin-bits of Mugi's thigh.

"W-wh-w-wha-what the hell are you doing!" Ritsu was convinced Mugi had lost her mind, or she had lost her mind, or maybe the world really was flat!

All at once, people started screaming again outside as an ominous figure dragged itself out of the wreckage of the explosion still ignited. People were scattering themselves from the scene quickly. They've all seen _Godzilla_, after all.

"Get to the chopper." Mugi stated dully as she casually pulled out a sawed-off shotgun from the metal workings of the interior of her thigh.

"WRONG MOVIE!" was all Ritsu could think to say as she witnessed her high school friend pull a gun out of a gash in her leg. It wasn't exactly something she saw every day.

"Whatever." Mugi replied. She cocked the bloody short-barreled pump action shotgun in her hands and started walking toward danger.

"What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?" Ritsu hissed through gritted teeth as she struggled to move Mio behind the restaurant counter for cover. The thundering sounds of Mugi's thigh-gun was shaking the walls and rattling whatever silverware that wasn't already loosened from the first explosion.

Making sure the taller girl was leaning as comfortably as possible against the counter, Ritsu hurriedly peeked over the fake granite. Her amber eyes quickly locked in Mugi's small figure silhouetted by the billowing flames of the explosion. She was shooting at an enormously bigger male figure that Ritsu couldn't see clearly.

The blasts of shotgun ammunition into the other person's body didn't seem to be anything more than a nuisance to them. They continued stalking forward until their massive hand clamped around Mugi's neck and smashed her head into the pavement hard enough to leave a crater.

"MUGI!" Ritsu screamed in distress. Her hands gripped the counter so hard her knuckles stood out against her hands. Her body was torn between rushing to her friend's aid and staying by Mio's unconscious form.

Her choice was made for her when the huge looming figure lifted Mugi's form still in it's grasp up off the ground. "You are terminated." a strongly accented masculine voice rumbled.

"This is madness!" Ritsu screamed, pulling at her hair.

"Madness?" Mugi's voice drifted to Ritsu's ears as if she were standing right next to the action. "THIS, IS, JAPAN!" Mugi screamed before her right arm erupted into a giant freaking spinning drill that stabbed the figure holding her up in the freaking face! The other robot exploded in a sudden inferno that consumed them both.

Ritsu was forced to duck down behind the counter and protect Mio's body with her own as even more smoke and debris flew in through the windows.

"Ritsu?" Mio's eyes fluttered open. "I had this crazy dream about Termi-" A flaming metal arm with bits of sizzling skin still on it landed beside the two of them. Mio promptly fainted again.

"Holy lycopene," Ritsu breathed after several moments of nothing but the crackling of fire and the sound of her thundering heartbeat. Slowly inching up, Ritsu moved to hesitantly peek over the counter once more. A foot slammed in front of her gaze and the drummer scrambled backwards.

It was Tsumugi standing on the counter looking down at her wide-eyed classmate. Her clothes were charred and smoking and half of her face was gone to reveal the metal endoskeleton underneath and one red glowing eye.

"I'll be back." she stated monotonously, pointing the huge drill at the end of her arm at Ritsu's face.

"AREN'T YOU ALREADY BACK!" Ritsu screeched in exasperation.

~**End Ritsu's Flashback**~

"That's bull." Azusa deadpanned.

"It's true, I swear!" Ritsu tried to convince her. "The explosions were on the news and everything!"

"Why the heck would a robot from the future go after you?" Azusa narrowed her eyes at Ritsu.

"Because," Ritsu looked suddenly very twinkly-eyed. "Our band is going to be so awesome it'll change the course of humanity itself!"

"Wow, seriously?" Yui seemed equally starry-eyed as she shared Ritsu's vision.

"Mio, please tell me Ritsu-sempai is lying!" Azusa turned to the girl shivering in the corner frantically.

The bassist shuddered even harder when the younger girl addressed her. "Ter-t-ter-ti-termi-" Mio stuttered incomprehensibly.

"Don't fight it, Azunyan!" Yui exclaimed swiftly, gripping her kouhai by the shoulder. "Our music will reach even the hearts of heartless robots!"

"But I don't want killer robots from the future to come after me!" Azusa yelled, reminding them of the point they were all forgetting.

"Ah." Yui slumped in her seat. In but a moment she brightened up once more. "But we don't have to worry because we have Mugi-chan, the Pimpin' Robot from the Future!"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF!" Azusa roared.

"Hey, Yui," Ritsu addressed the brunette while completely ignoring Azusa's reasoning. "Didn't you say something interesting happened at Mugi's job?" she asked curiously. At her words Yui blushed obviously and started fiddling her fingers and hair.

"What happened?" Azusa was now intrigued as well.

"Well," Yui scratched at the back of her tousled hair and laughed nervously. "Where should I start?"

Something about the way Yui acted made Azusa's insides uneasy. "Yesterday, you went to Mugi-sempai's job…" Azusa prompted with a strained voice.

"Okay. Yesterday I ran into Mugi-chan after practice and she asked me if I wanted to go see what her new job was. So I went and it was a very… weird place."

~**Yui's Flashback**~

The inside of _The_ _Hentai Palace_ was nothing like Yui thought it would be.

First of all, it looked nothing like a palace like she figured it would. It was actually kind of dark inside, the floors were kind of sticky, smoke hung about the air, and the place was filled with men with ties around their heads being serviced by top-less women. She had almost been tossed out of the place at the door but all Mugi had to say was "She's with me." and here she was.

Mugi pushed Yui down onto one of the single chaise lounge chairs next to a small stage that was currently empty. "You wait for me right here, Yui-chan." Mugi whispered into the sitting girl's ear with a small smile.

"All alone?" Yui looked up at her friend with wide innocent brown eyes that made Mugi squeal a little bit under her breath.

"Don't worry about it; I'll let one of my friends keep you company." Mugi gestured for a woman in a sexy bunny girl outfit over. "I'm up next, so you'll be seeing me again very soon." Mugi assured, running her hand through Yui's tousled brown locks.

"Okay…" Yui grumbled and kicked her legs like a child being left by her parent. Mugi smiled kindly before quickly leaving through a door that read 'Backstage Area'. The woman in the bunny outfit replaced Mugi in front of Yui's chair. She sat on Yui's lap unexpectedly with a giggle.

"So, what'll it be, Hime-chan?" the woman purred into Yui's ear.

"Hey, that tickles!" Yui squirmed away. The woman laughed throatily.

"Let me guess. Lemonade?" her red painted lips smirked.

"Actually, I would really like some of Mugi-chan's tea right now." Yui responded. The woman in her lap burst into laughter.

"Wow!" she laughed as her hands untied the bow around Yui's neck. "You look innocent, but you're pretty straight forward aren't you?" she sounded deeply impressed.

"Well, Mugi's tea is really really good!" Yui affirmed avidly and with a firm nod of her head.

"You're in luck, she's about to go on right now." The woman said as she slipped off Yui's lap and walked off to other customers, hips a swinging. Yui gulped nervously as she looked around. It was obvious to even Yui that she stuck out like a sore thumb. The guitarist was starting to wonder what exactly was it that Mugi did at this job?

"**Prestigious gentlemen, please get out your wallets for one of our newest and most popular girls at this club**!" an announcing voice spoke over some speakers as the lights dimmed and a spot light illuminated a pole upon the stage. The other middle-aged men in the club looked really excited, and Yui curiously looked up to the stage to see what it was everyone was expecting.

"**Please, give it up**!" Curtains parted and a slim silhouette stood posed at the far-side of the stage. "**To the Ojou-sama**!"

"Ah! Mugi-chan!" Yui lit up, immediately recognizing her friend blowing kisses at the hooting crowd and winking in her direction. Her blonde friend was dressed in a school sailor uniform that Yui didn't recognize. The skirt barely brushed her thighs and the shirt tails were tied up just below her breasts to reveal her smooth tummy. High heels were strapped to her feet and accentuated her legs nicely.

Music suddenly started booming and Yui winced at how rowdy it was becoming around the place. She tried to focus on her band mate up on stage walking up to the pole that Yui had a front row seat to. And she started to dance.

"Wow, Mugi is a good dancer!" Yui observed. "Though, that pole seems to be in the way because she keeps bumping into it." The guitar prodigy became thoroughly fascinated by what was going on up on stage. She had no idea it was possible to hang off the pole upside-down while grabbing money from outstretched hands in her teeth like that! That must take lots of talent!

Then the clothes started flying. "Eh?" Yui tilted her head to the side when Mugi started slowly sliding her skirt down her ankles. One article of clothing came off after another until a bra smacked against Yui's face.

"Drink?" a waitress in a skimpy uniform offered Yui a tray filled with sake shots.

"Mmm." Yui hummed distractedly, politely taking one of the small glasses while trying to keep her eyes on the going-ons of the stage. She managed to down the glass in one gulp before making a face. When she put the empty glass back another full one was immediately handed to her. The brown-haired girl downed that one as well.

"Whoa! I didn't know money could go there!" Yui exclaimed really loudly as sake kept getting replaced in her small hand. She watched Mugi expertly spin around the poll now completely nude except for her high heels and panties that were serving as a money holder. "Wouldn't that leave a mark?" Yui asked no one in particular. Her voice became slightly slurred and she laughed at her own question.

The music ended and Mugi finished off her routine with an upside-down split mid-pole. Yui was cheering the loudest of all and clapping the most enthusiastically. The wealthy daughter smiled modestly and bowed to the appreciative crowd. Without bothering to put her clothes back on the blonde stepped off stage and walked straight up to Yui.

"Mugi-chan, that was amazing!" Yui was in genuine awe of Mugi's secret talent. "I never imagined that half of that stuff was possible! Maybe you could teach me to do that last move sometime? Hey, you're still naked."

Tsumugi giggled at Yui's slightly drunken state and moved to settle each knee on either side of Yui's hips and pushed the other girl's shoulders against the back of the lounge chair. Mugi continued to make herself comfortable on Yui's lap by wrapping her arms loosely around the guitarist's neck and pressing her naked body suggestively against Yui's. Her band mate didn't put up any resistance.

"Thank you, Yui-chan!" Mugi seemed pleased with Yui's honest praise. "I'm glad I was able to show you my new job." Mugi's deft fingers played with Yui's hair. "I wanted to show you another part of my job too."

Yui's eyes widened. "There's more?" What more could there possibly be?

"Well, this is more of a private dance just for you." Mugi smiled sweetly at her before her hips started moving sensually against Yui's. "This one is on the house."

~**End Yui's Flashback**~

The Light Music Club members stared at Yui. Even Mio had stopped rocking in the corner to stare at Yui in disbelief. Ritsu stared so hard she didn't notice the trickle of blood coming out of her nose. Azusa was shocked beyond words. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were shadowed in devastation.

"That private dance was certainly interesting." Yui kept talking, oblivious to the incredulous stares she was receiving. "But then she said she wanted to show me something else, and that's when she took me to her private backstage dressing room where things_ really_ got interesting-"

"STOP TALKING!" Ritsu smacked her hands against Yui's mouth in an attempt to stop the blasphemy.

Azusa's forehead smacked against the table's surface. If _that_ was the reason why Yui suddenly started acting slightly more mature, than the universe might as well explode!

"Alright, alright, I give!" Ritsu removed her hands from Yui's face to wipe the blood from her nose. "I think that story topped all of ours!"

"But," Azusa managed to lift her head even though it felt like it weighed a ton. "These stories don't add up. How can Mugi-sempai be a pimp, a robot from the future, AND a stripper? It doesn't make any sense!" Azusa threw her hands up in the air in a 'freaking stupid universe!' gesture.

"You're right." Yui put her chin in her hand and looked thoughtful. Ritsu adopted the same expression. Mio resumed humming to herself after she got over the whole 'Mugi totally deflowered Yui!' line of thought.

"Aright!" Ritsu got to her feet and held her fist in front of her in conviction. "Mugi is obviously… an alien! OW!" Mio made the full recovery just to hit Ritsu over the head.

"YOU'RE GOING TO ADD 'ALIEN' TO THE EVER-GROWING LIST?" Mio shouted at her childhood friend.

"Sorry~" Ritsu whimpered on the floor. Yui helped herself to more tea. Azusa sighed at her misfortune.

~**At the Kotobuki Mansion Right Now**~

Tsumugi had arrived at her family's estate without much problem. She didn't exactly count running over a few pedestrians as a problem. She walked through many doors and many hallways, knowing the mansion like the back of her hand. When she finally arrived at a tall grandfather clock she stopped.

"Mugi is the harem queen of the world!" Tsumugi declared and the grandfather clock hummed mechanically and slid aside to reveal a hidden passageway. Apparently the words served as the password. The hidden entrance exposed a very long staircase leading down into darkness. She crossed the threshold without hesitance.

The staircase eventually led to a huge secret cave beneath the Kotobuki mansion. She called it The Mugi Cave. Suspicious alien technology filled the cave like a _Star Wars_ repair shop. The blonde high school girl skipped happily up to the largest machine in room, conveniently labeled 'The Dimensional Swapper'. At the head of the house-sized machine was a glass chamber big enough for a person.

"I wonder what I'll be today~" Mugi said gleefully to herself as she entered the glass chamber. The Dimensional Swapper started whirring automatically at the intrusion. Lights flashed, buttons bleeped, and smoke was released in timely puffs as the chamber Mugi contained herself in slowly started glowing with a white ghostly light.

The magic only lasted but a moment and the mysterious light ebbed away slowly, and the machine stopped making lights and sounds. All was quite in the Mugi Cave for a heartbeat. Then a low hissing sound invaded the silence as the chamber doors containing Tsumugi's body slowly opened.

The chamber was filled with smoke that shrouded whatever was inside of it now.

The sound of machine-regulated inhalation through a space breathing apparatus filled the cave ominously.

~**The End**~

* * *

A/N: I'm thinking Ritsu is going to be my next victim. Now let me get out of here before Darth Mugi comes after me for doing so much crap to her character.


End file.
